Redirecting my energy

I’m planning on today being the day to end my life. 

This has been building for days and each day a little more is planned.

I’m completely consumed by the simple fact that I’m both mentally and physically ill and can not recover. 

I cannot redirect this energy to improve my life, regardless how much I try. 

I cannot even get an apology. 

Not that an apology would heal me, but at least I wouldn’t feel so worthless.

Friends of Jeff and Blythe’s are taking their side and quite frankly I don’t have many friends because I am socially awkward and too mentally and physically ill to maintain friendships. 

I can’t make any money to survive. 

I’m a drain on this world and the people I love. 

Goodbye and good luck. 

Don’t worry, I’m only going to take my own life. I have never wanted to hurt others, only remove myself from this world that I never belonged. 

I’m sorry to the few who love me.

The sad part is this is the favorite website I’ve ever built. I really loved it when it was for The Rusty Mug Bar & Grill because it was really easy to navigate and if they would have told me what content to put up then it would have been amazing.

I want to say one final thing. Please do not blame Jeff and Blythe Oade for this. While they showed a lack of empathy, they aren’t at fault, Jeff simply triggered something already within me. Jeff was confused about how the internet works and about my intentions.

I probably would have done this eventually anyway even if I never met either of them.

I’m a pathetic loser that couldn’t even give a website away for free when others charge thousands.

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